Because they believe they would be able to spot a child molester just by their looks, Parents of abused kids often say things like “he didn’t look like a molester”, “he was so nice” etc.
In most instances, the molesting happens right before our eyes, and we don’t notice it. One convicted child molester brags of how he perched a little girl on his shoulder, one hand under her skirt, in her v*gina and the other on her thighs. This abuse happened right in front of her parents!
Do you think you would know if a predator was deceptively grooming your child? To fully understand the mind of an online predator, it is helpful to think of them as serial killers. They fit the same profile.
1. Molesters Have Good Social Standings
Contrary to what you would think, predators are not social Pariahs. They are often of high social status, very influential members of society. They also work very well with kids. You will find them in careers such as paediatrics, coaching, teaching, etc.
Like serial killers, if predators weren’t charismatic, they would not be able to get people to drop their guards around them. If they looked like abominations, it would be elementary to resist or avoid them.
Child molesters are tricky experts in the art of deceit, more so online. This is why they get away with their despicable actions.
2. Molesters Are Often Not Strangers
Chances are, you know a paedophile. They walk among us, take up proper roles in society. They are People we know. Research shows that 90% of abused kids were abused by someone they know — relatives, Cousins, older siblings, neighbours, friends of the family, the ice-cream man etc.
There are reported cases where paedophiles pose as suitors for a single parent until they have gotten the parent to let their guard down. Then they take advantage of the child.
Sometimes they create a fake emergency to get the child alone. “Your mom had an accident and is at the hospital. I was told to come and get you.”
3. They Appear Too Good to Be True
The Pedophile is charming and sly. They say and do the “right” things by you to gain your trust until you let your guard down. It is not coincidental for them to share interests with you or your kids, this is because they are carefully seducing you, grooming to take advantage.
If a person, online or offline appears too good to be true, they probably are. We cannot stress this enough!
Paedophiles are always there to babysit. They provide support for you when you need it. Even want to take children on ‘special’ outings alone. They buy kids gifts or give them money for no apparent reason. Be very wary, especially of adults who do these but don’t have children of their own.
4. They Are Unusually Great With Kids
Offenders often insist on physical touch with children even when the child does not want this physical contact or attention. Rather than spend time with people their age, they would rather spend time with children, even when they are no other adults around. They frequently treat kids as their equals.
You will also find them in careers centred around interacting with children. Such as ice cream man, teacher, coach, etc.]
5. They Prefer Vulnerable Victims
The other day I read an article about a website for a pro-anorexia community of teenagers. This site is a prime pool of victims for paedophiles to prey on; Vulnerable kids on the verge of mental illness.
Offenders pose as “Anorexia Coaches” and ask for nude images of these girls. They even go as far as asking for the young girls to come and meet them in their houses for ‘intense anorexia sessions’.
A defenceless target is their end goal. You will often find these offenders befriending a child who seems shy and lacking in confidence, one in desperate need of some extra attention, guidance and affection, one who is often overlooked or neglected by their parents.
If this child is not alone, the next thing they do is to isolate them.
6. They Always Isolate Their Victims:
All paedophiles isolate their victims. Once they’ve accomplished that, they can proceed with their second step, which is to victimise their target sexually. Recognise paedophiles by how hard they work in arranging ‘alone time’ with your children, and they often make it look as though they are doing you a favour.
They drive a wedge between you and your children by taking their side in arguments between the two of you and buying them expensive gifts. “Your parents cannot buy you this expensive video game. So you can come over to my house and play it here” etc.
Paedophiles are experts manipulators. They know how to speak the language of the kids. However, the fear of being caught is one thing that scares a molester. If a paedophile sees that you are a very involved parent, or that your child won’t keep their secret, he will often move on to a safer and more accessible target. So we should protect our children online and offline.
The goal of this article is not to make you suspicious of everyone, but to remind you that intelligent parents know how to tell if their child is being groomed, and red flag behaviours that occur when someone is “grooming” a child.